Before the class Miss Li was talking to someone who was looking after a very ill person and said several interesting things. One was that when somebody else is in pain they are not likely to be able to take in much that you say, even if it is appropriate. The best thing is to be silent - the other person will already be getting the benefit of talking, or writing, to you without you having to give them any advice. She referred this to religion - both to Lao Zi and to the idea of prayer in Christianity - prayer as the only real way to help the other person.
Also, she said that another aspect of this is that the individual has to sort themselves out, to come through their own pain and suffering. And each one is different - so advice is hard to give. Referring to a Chinese saying, she remarked that each person is a unique text very difficult to read!
She herself had been through many ups and downs in her life, but she saw herself as being mentally slow and insensitive: so things did not pain her so much at the time. Looking back, she would think: how did I get over that? But at the time she found she could put things out of her mind and live day by day without too much suffering or worry.
After the class she remarked that in China in the old days you did not pay your martial arts teacher as we do in the West now (indeed her own teacher ended up giving her family financial support!). Consequently, he was not obliged to teach you so quickly ... he might wait many years before giving out all his knowledge. And there is no point in saying certain things before the student's practice has brought them to the point where they mean something.
On Tai Ji: let us focus more on the arms and hands.
The fist should indeed be a loose one, not a real fist at all, except at the moment of first making each one you should clench it as a form of stretching, and then relax it.
The movement of the arms should be less loose and abstract (i.e. unthoughtful, undirected). It should be a movement in which you are conscious of the relationship between the joints: pressing down from the shoulder to the elbow; then down from the elbow to the hand, which in each form has a correct position and is not just loose.
In doing the preliminary movements, for example when I withdraw and then push forward on the big ball, my hands are too wide apart ... "this may feel comfortable, but let us keep to the form." Also, when coming round for single whip, at the moment of turning to the front the fingers of the right hand should be closed and above the left hand, which should be palm up, as if dropping a spot of water onto the palm.
These sorts of details can now be attended to, as they will not draw our attention too far out to externals, now that we have established enough of a rhythm and relaxation.
